![]() ![]() And truth is what sets people free (John 8: 32). Speaking the truth in order to improve your relationship or to get guidance is not speaking badly, it’s speaking truth. Titus 2: 3-5 tells wives to be reverent in the way they live, not slanderers but kind and subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the word of God. To slander him with the intention of ruining his reputation or in a misguided attempt to make you look like the one who does what is right IS speaking badly about him. I wanted to be a Proverbs 31 wife so that my husband would be respected “at the city gates.” I thought that speaking the truth about his behavior was the equivalent of speaking badly about my husband. Are you not to judge those inside ?” So if we see a pattern of continuous sin, it is right that we should take note of that and respond accordingly. And 1 John 3: 9 says that “no one who is born of God will continue to sin.” 1 Corinthians 5: 11,12 says “you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. In fact, the Bible says that if someone “wanders from the truth and someone should bring that person back, whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death” ( James 5: 20). While we shouldn’t keep a record of wrongs selfishly to be used against someone to get our way, it is not wrong to take note of patterns of behavior that reveal character issues. This verse was used as ammunition to prevent me from holding my husband accountable. think about such things.” Why hadn’t I seen that before?! Am I keeping a list of wrongs?ġ Cor 13: 5 says that love does not keep a record of wrongs. In fact, within that Philippians 4: 8 passage, it says “whatever is true. He acknowledged the truth.Īnd only in acknowledging the truth can you honor your husband with the chance to change his ways. īut as I started asking God questions like “ How did Jesus handle people treating him poorly?” and studying Scripture for the answer, I started to see that Jesus did not overlook reality or sweep it under the rug in order to speak well of people. I assumed that meant that, if he displayed bad character, I couldn’t talk about it. I’d been trained (by him and those in the church) not to have “negative” thoughts about my husband, being told to think only about “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right. I used to believe that it would be dishonoring to my husband if I allowed myself to think of him as being wrong, inappropriate, or abusive. Am I dishonoring my husband by thinking that he is wrong (at best) and abusive (at worst)? Maybe you have those same questions and concerns, so let me share with you what I learned as I searched Scripture for answers, looking to the whole counsel of God. So when I started to admit to myself that my husband’s harmful behavior had become unacceptable to me, I had a lot of questions and concerns about how to apply those verses in the situation I found myself in. Philippians 4: 8 & Ephesians 4: 29 don’t speak negativelyġ Corinthians 7: 4 “the wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband”ġ Corinthians 13 (you know the passage: the “love passage”)Īnd, of course, Proverbs 31 “The Wife of Noble Character” Titus 2: 3-5 be reverent, don’t slander, be kind, be subject to your husband I would keep going back to all the Bible verses that talk about what wives should do and not do, and I would cling to them and beg God to give me the strength to be that kind of wife:Įphesians 5: 33 “a wife must respect her husband”ġ Peter 3: 1-6 submit to your husband win him without a word by the purity and reverence of your lives have a gentle and quiet spirit be like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her master I desperately wanted to be a wife who pleased God and did right by my husband. ![]()
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